to my son.

Dear Ethan,

Mommy here. You're much older now, but when I wrote this you were not yet 8 months old. You love being held by your mommy. When I step out of view, you f-a-h-reak. You can still fall asleep in my arms, even though it puts mommy's biceps to the test. Today I had occasion to think about you as more than just a smiling baby; as a boy, a man, a husband and a father. So while you still look at every word I say wide-eyed, there are a few things I want to say.

I will make mistakes. There have already been several. But I grow a bit more patient every day, a bit more wise every day, and put the fruits of that growth toward being a better woman for you, Emily and Daddy. This doesn't mean, however, that I'm not going to royally screw the pooch on more occasions than can be counted. More importantly, though, you need to know it's okay to make mistakes. So when I make one, I will admit it. And apologize. Because the whole do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do thing never got anyone anywhere.

I promise to treat you how I expect your wife to treat you. Okay, mister. Head out of the gutter. I'm talking about respect. I promise to respect you as a man, even when you are little. I promise to love you so you know what it looks like, and don't chase the first pair of cute panties that comes flinging herself at you.

I expect you to open doors and stand when a lady leaves the table. Your Daddy has spoiled me, so you can blame him.

I promise to give you away (for reals) when you get married. I'm saying this now, when you're still learning to splash Sophie the Giraffe in your bathtub, and will continue to self-affirm until the day you say I do. It's going to take several decades to accomplish this, so I hope you don't plan on getting married until you're in your 50s.

I will never shame you. You can ask your Daddy -- I take this seriously. I believe the esteem a woman finds in her husband is the esteem the world finds in her husband. And the esteem a mom shows her son is what he will learn to expect from others. I want you to know that when your world is falling apart, you can come to me because I will stand by and support you. Period.

I love you.

The end.